I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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