hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
