I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
