I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
