He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
