Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
