You're my little dorito
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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