I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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