I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
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