the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
