You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
