There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
