Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
