I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
