I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I need to align my fucking chakras
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
