WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize