No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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