I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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