So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
