Me. At least after what I've been through.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
