I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think a kid would responsible me up
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
