You work out of a Hotel?
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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