That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize