I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he puts the penis in happiness.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
