Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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