How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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