He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
