Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
