she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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