I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
