if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
