Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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