Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
