is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
zippers are such a cool invention
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
