So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
