don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
