btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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