He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
