I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
