when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
