I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
