k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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