i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
