Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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