don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize