Apparently you make a good broom.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
