I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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