I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
