I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
