Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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