Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
