I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
