I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
