used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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