Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
me + whiskey = a bad person
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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