Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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