hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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