NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
