it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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