i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
