I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
