No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
