No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
