i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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